When I was in my twenties and my friends got a boyfriend, they would kind of go cold turkey on me and give all their waking thoughts to their new guy. A couple of months later their heartbreak was palpable when that boyfriend dropped them without returning the emotional investment my friends put in.

Emotional well-being should never depend on one person, one relationship, one love. It’s too limiting and devastating when you lose it. Physical, emotional and intellectual independence is really vital, like you said.

Sara, the whole list is great, but I think number 7, retaining that emotional independence is the best trait. Oh, if I can add one more it would be to smile.

It sounds corny but my mum is 92 and in very poor health; she won’t be with us much longer. I took her photo the other day and she did her best to smile. Looking at the pics, I think she is beautiful. Even rugged up with sunnies and mismatched clothes.

Yes, wrinkles on the wrinkles, suffering from five infections and in hospital for 7 weeks, in severe pain, but still so beautiful because of a small half smile.

She was always the most slim, attractive, fit looking woman in the room. Always the perfect weight of 48kg with a waist of 18 inches around, or about as big as my thigh. Inner beauty is all she has now, and I think that shows.

Maybe it’s because I love my Mum so much and maybe it’s because smiles are transformational; maybe both. It goes with being a good listener, but smiles are a bit of magic we can all make.

The Coronavirus discriminates cruelly against the elderly. They are most likely to pass away from the disease, especially if they have heart and respiratory problems. If my mum can smile through all that she is going through, can’t we?

Today with the world in COVID-19 meltdown we can’t shake hands, touch or kiss, but we can say hi, or help someone stay calmer when we smile. And, of course, we can be more attractive and enigmatic to others when we do it.