Reading this feels like serendipity.

My wonder of mechanical wonders, 30–90 secs to orgasm, vibrator died on me this week. So sad, some days it was my best friend, a magic stress relieving wand.

Every day since my husband keeps asking if I’ve ordered a new one on eBay. Every day I say no, probably for the same reasons you can’t bring yourself to masturbate in the first place Donna.

At 11, I did it with my fingers. I’d never heard of the O word or the M word, and thought I had somehow wet my pants. I felt around the pretty floral sheets of my soft, single bed and couldn’t work out why they weren’t wet, when I felt wet. I became a bit of an expert at getting off with my hands.

It is easy, just twiddle around for a while naked in your bed. Keep doing what feels ‘nice’ and makes you feel warm.

When I left home at 18 to go to Uni I was lucky enough to have a detachable shower head in the lockable bathroom of my flat. Wow. The heat, the waves of heat and pressure used to have me panting in no time.

Hand held shower heads cost between $60 and $120 in Australia. If I didn’t have one in my ensuite, I’d buy less groceries this week and splurge on one. It’s a no brainer.

I can still ‘get off’ with either method, but a wand is so much better. With a vibrator I can relieve headaches, relieve tension, massage the back of my neck from writing at a laptop for too long, I can get happy, be mindful, relax and have multiple orgasms every time. They cost between $40 and $250 and are so worth it.

Life savers.

I understand the shame Donna. When a colleague was getting a nasty divorce, another teacher asked if there was something she could do for her. Being the stupid big mouth that I am, I yelled out: ‘Buy her a vibrator.’

As I said it, the elderly male Principal and only other male teacher walked into the staff room and wondered what all the fuss was about. Five women in that room barely talked to me for weeks, as if I was some kind of nymphomaniac. I blushed and felt judged; some friends wouldn’t look at me.

Ridiculous, self-love includes self-love.

Women don’t just NOT talk about this. The world population calls the female sexual parts a vagina, if they do mention it at all. It’s not. There are 500 terms for a penis, but our sex parts are correctly termed a vulva.

If you ask around, 90% of the population wouldn’t know what a vulva was.

They’ve also proven that there are NO vaginal orgasms. The only orgasms a woman can have are clitoral ones. A bloke putting his penis inside puts a little pressure on the massive part of the clit inside our bodies, but it is so much easier to orgasm with stimulation from the outside.

I was reading an article about the misuse of vaginal mesh. Hopefully, women who have had their lives wrecked all over the world with surgery will be compensated. Early complaints were ignored. Drs wouldn’t even call it vaginal mesh. So it wouldn’t fucking offend anyone, Dr’s referred to it as ‘pelvic mesh’. I’m ranting, but they were not even operating on the frigging pelvis!

Over 33 years ago a neonatal nurse told me that if they could not get premmie baby girls or boys to settle and stop crying, they would gently tickle the genitals. I was shocked; she said they all did this well known cure for repetitive crying.

The gentle tickle is a cure all for women too.

Donna, try an old fashioned shower head, or twiddle at the ole one stringed guitar. Stroke the little bump in a boat and have fun. If nothing else it relieves a neck ache and provides a good cure for depression. And who doesn’t need that?

Vibrators make me feel good. Very. Good.

Try it, there’s no shame, so don’t be lame.

Didn’t mean this post to be so long, and I do feel a bit naughty for admitting what I have above, but someone has to speak out.

Life’s too short not to have an orgasm or three every day.

Thanks a gazillion for your post Donna, hope you have overcome the shame you really shouldn’t feel and have experienced the highs you can get with a little help from a magic wand.

I feel kind of free after admitting to being a serial, long term masturbator.

I think I’ll go read some sex toy reviews on Ebay. God, I can’t believe I’m blushing as I write that.