I hope you have found salvation in the only person who can give it to you. Yourself. You are so much better, worth so much better than that pretense of a marriage. Now you're free I hope you've discovered a badge of self-respect and self-love, that you can always keep close to your chest. All the best to you, wishing you well for a better future with all the resilience you can muster. Life, marriage, existence should be a whole lot better than any of that.